Hypochondria is not fun.
It's not fun for the hypochondriac, and it's not fun for anyone who shares his or her life with one.
For quite a while my health anxiety really hurt the relationship between my husband and me. It's extremely hard for anyone who does not have this condition to imagine how the fear takes over your life. It's a difficult thing to explain. On one level, I knew I was being illogical and irrational. But on another level, I just could not stop thinking that I had a serious illness and obsessing about my symptoms.
The hardest time in our relationship came during a cross country move. Moving is always a stressful time. Driving from Ohio to San Diego with two cats while dealing with carreer, family, and housing issues is an experience I wouldn't wish on anyone! I had been getting anxiety symptoms like tingling in my feet and hands, jerking sensations in my limbs, and muscle twitches. I was becoming more and more convinced that I had MS or ALS, or another neurological disorder. The more worried I became, the more tense I got, and the more worried I was. It was like being lost in the woods and wandering around in a circle. I got more and more hysterical.
Even though I was very happy to be back in my home town of San Diego, I was having problems functioning because of my anxiety. The tension was so bad that driving became dificult. While my husband Dave started his job, I needed to find a rental house, get our stuff moved in, and find a job. The house turned out to be the easy part. I found a great place, but we had to wait in our tiny motel room with the cats while the old tenants moved out. I wanted to see a doctor, but we were still getting our insurance situation figured out with Dave's new job. I was staying up all night on the internet, looking up my symptoms. Luckily, I ended up finding some information about physical symptoms of anxiety, and the anxiety support message boards. I began to see that there was a good chance that my problem was anxiety.
It's my belief that this condition is related to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Many hypochondriacs have a family history of OCD (I do) and it has some of the same characteristics as OCD- you become obsessed with checking your symptoms all the time, instead of being obsessed that you have just run someone over or that the door is locked.
The spouse of a hypochondriac is a hard job. It's frustrating to try and try to convince someone that they are ok, when they seem to not want to believe it. They are frustrated too, not being able to believe it. The best thing I can suggest is to learn as much as you can about the condition. Read about it, talk about it with your spouse. Try to get them to see a therapist or a good doctor, if possible.
My husband and I got through it. Now we are doing well. I hope the same for you. It really can get better.
